Emotional Health

You Are More Than Worthy!

September 13, 2014

For you are fearfully and wonderfully made! 

self-worthToday I want to talk about the concept ofworthiness. It is one of the most important concepts on the journey to love and acceptance of one’s self.

In today’s world we see so many people wrapping up their self-worth in what they have or what they don’t have. Too many times people confuse self-worth with net worth and they allow the world to define for them who they are. When the world defines for you who you are, you will always end up with the short end of the stick. If you wrap your self worth up in what others say about you and the message is unfavorable, it will leave you feeling really awful about yourself and empty. A void that no human will be able to fill. It will destroy your relationships and may even ultimately cause you to question your very existence. 

You may have been told that you are too short, too thin, too fat, not fashionable, not tall enough, stupid, ugly, a loser, or not good enough to be worthy of love or acceptance. Don’t listen to any of this, its all a lie! It is essential that you remember your value when everyone else around has seemed to forget.

Who are they to define for you who you are?? They are just as flawed and imperfect as you are! They are no better than you, so they can’t define for you who you are or even who you are going to become. If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value. <that’s a tweetable, y’all>

But what I know for sure, is that sometimes our flaws are not merely physical, but they are emotional and spiritual and they reside inside where they can do the most damage. We don’t always know people’s agenda or why they feel compelled to spew criticism or negativity onto others. What we know is that people are walking around wounded and hurt, and are usually dealing with their own “stuff” and you just happen to be in their trajectory.

This is especially hard when it comes from people who you love, like family. I heard this recently and I just love it (I’m paraphrasing here). You have to learn to love people where they are and know how to put things in perspective. People can only give you what they have themselves. They may not be able to love you the way you deserve to be loved. They don’t know how to encourage you or say positive things to you because they were never praised or encouraged themselves. I encourage you to pray for them to grow into discernment. But in the meantime, just love them. But love you too and know that you are in no way diminished because they are unable to articulate all of the wonderful things that you are! You don’t need them to say it, it just is.

Your sense of self should not depend on what anyone says about you. I want you to know that you should intrinsically know that you are loved and special because it is your birthright, a God-given right. You were created in love and are sooo loved, no matter what circumstances you may find yourself in. Love is love all the time and is not diminished by circumstance or conditions.   

So here are a few things I want you to remember about worthiness:

1) You don’t have to do anything to get it. It is your birthright given to you by the Creator. You have it from the time you entered this world. Your life is a testament that you are suppose to be here. You have something that the world needs from you. Isn’t that awesome? Don’t you want to figure out what that is so you can fulfill it?

2) No one else can take it away from you. They didn’t give it to you so how can they take it away? Have you heard that saying, “the world didn’t give it to you and the world can’t take it away”? When people say negative things about your worth or try to hurt you, it is usually a result of their own pain.  Try to remember this the next time someone posts something negative on your social media stream or you read a nasty email or you get criticized for something. Self-worth is negatively impacted when you let others make decisions for you. You must rely on what you already have within, your intuition, it there guiding you if you will listen to it. As Dorothy learns in the Wizard of Oz, “you had it within you all the time”.

3) It doesn’t hurt to do a little self-reflection from time to time. I’m sure you have learned a few lessons in your life by now and you know what you need to work on and you know what you have done well. You don’t need anyone to tell you about yourself, you already know! Don’t look outside of yourself for analysis or validation. When doing self-reflection here are a few questions to consider:

  • What experience have I had? What have I learned from those experiences? How have they helped me to grow?
  • What are my talents? List at least 5.
  • What are my skills? You are born with talent, but skills need to worked on to perfect them.
  • What are my strengths?
  • What do I want to be doing with my life? Am I doing it? If not, why not?
  • Am I happy with my health? If not, why not? And what can I do to move in the direction of what I envision as good health.
  • What makes me feel fulfilled? Am I working on that or am I busy working on other people’s fulfillment?

I hope you realize after reading this post that who you are is a unique and special individual and the world needs what only you can offer. What the Creator poured into only you. Even though life may throw you curves from time to time, it is simply making you wiser and stronger. I want you to remember this quote, not sure who said it but it resonates with me today, ”Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you are worthy of the trip”.

Until next time,

xoxo,

Franka

Career, Relationship Love, Self-Love

What do you want your legacy to be?

September 6, 2014
legacy-post

Lately it seems like we are seeing a lot of famous stars transition. We know it is inevitable as we age of course, but it is still hard to lose the people we grew up with, people who have made us laugh and enjoy this wonderful thing called life.

This week we lost comedic trailblazer and quick-witted fashion icon, Joan Rivers. Whether you are a fan of Joan or not, she made an impact on us during her time on this earth. So it got me to thinking about my own life and about leaving a legacy. Continue Reading…

Emotional Health

Everyone too busy for you? Perfect time for you to get busy!

August 30, 2014
photo 2

As the last child in a family of eleven, I will admit that I am always trying to get my brothers and sisters to “see me”. Birth order research has indicated that this is a common trait of last children, the baby in the family. Maybe its because I was so used to always being around so many people and feeling so loved all the time while I was growing up.

I used to get so upset when I would plan events and invite my brothers and they wouldn’t show up. I thought somehow that it meant that they didn’t really like being around me. Well the fact of the matter is, they truly do, and absolutely show up for me when it counts. But today my brothers and sisters all lead pretty busy lives themselves. They have their own families, work responsibilities, and activities with their kids. Like me, they are striving to find balance and carve out time for themselves. The same is true for my best girlfriends. Who also lead very busy lives. They have children, spouses, full careers and their own hobbies and interests. Its even hard sometimes for us to get time to talk on the phone. I know they love me though and are always in my corner.

Continue Reading…