Forgive Yourself!

The concept of forgiveness is one that is so incredibly important as we talk about self-love. So often when I hear about forgiveness it is in reference to forgiving someone else who has done us wrong or with whom we have had a “falling out”, but far too little has been addressed about the importance of forgiving oneself.

You MUST forgive, not just others, but also yourself, for any mistakes you have made in your past. As T.D. Jakes so eloquently put it,

When you hold onto your history, you do it at the expense of your destiny.

You cannot rise to the level of where God wants you to be if you allow your past mistakes to hold you hostage. You will continue to make the same mistakes believing that you deserve the pain associated with those mistakes, or you will limit the joy you should experience in life because you are hiding or holding back. When you start your practice of forgiveness, you will start to be more compassionate to yourself for the mistakes you make. No one is perfect, we all mess up. You will keep messing up if you don’t stop the bleeding. The bandage is knowing that nothing that has happened, you deserved, no matter what you did. Stop assigning labels to yourself or allowing others to call you out of your name. You are made in the image of God to manifest a divine purpose. God wants you to step into your greatness. He wants you to experience profound moments of joy and love. It is your birthright. He is waiting for you to use the gifts and talents he poured into you. He wants you to make a difference in the world. He needs you to!

So today I want you to…

  • Forgive yourself for not protecting your heart from those friends you told your deepest secrets who betrayed you. How could you know they weren’t trustworthy? You are not stupid. Forgive yourself.
  • Forgive yourself for giving your body to that guy you thought you loved but who broke up with you right after you slept with him or who never called you back. You are not a slut or a whore. You are a beautiful child of God who made a mistake. Forgive yourself.
  • Forgive yourself for trusting the wrong people to help you with your business, only to find out later that they were dishonest, cheated you or mismanaged funds.
  • Forgive yourself for lying to that person you loved, because you were too scared to tell them the truth.
  • Forgive yourself for getting rid of that baby when you were young, either through abortion or adoption, because you were afraid you couldn’t parent them alone.
  • Forgive yourself for ANY mistakes you have made in your past.

Forgive yourself! God has.

A great video about forgiveness from Lady O which gives a great definition of forgiveness.

Deeper Work:

  • How has this concept of forgiveness help heal you?
  • Are you holding onto anything you must forgive yourself for?
  • Learn the practice of forgiveness. Start by forgiving yourself today. I love to write this down in a journal as a way to help me release anything I’m holding onto “(Insert your name) I forgive you for…”


The One Thing You Should Do When You Are Going Through a Tough Time

I thought I would start today’s post with a song. I want you to listen to the words of this Bill Withers song, it is absolutely the right medicine today. It is from me to you as the perfect reminder that you are not alone.

I’m here to say to you, my beautiful sisters (and brothers), that its okay not to have it all together, all the time!

Less than a month ago, I admitted to my own struggle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, and just last week, my sadness at losing my best friend. Life is full of unexpected waves.

This post is just designed to remind you that you are not alone! I just want to encourage you and say that you shouldn’t let pride or excuses like “that’s just the way I am” keep you from reaching for a helping hand. Maybe your excuse is, “I’m just a private person” or “I don’t have many people I trust”. It serves no one, especially you, to suffer in silence. Today I’m calling you on all of your stuff!

The Corporate Mask: Finding the Strength to Be Authentic In Corporate America

I’m really starting to wonder what my coworkers see when they look at me. For a long time, I tried to look and act the part at work. I relaxed my hair. I wore smooth, slick buns and blazers, and was a regular contributor to meaningless corporate small talk about the weather and other notions of nothingness. I was always masking absolute irritation. I scoffed incessantly in my own mind and mastered the art of rolling my eyes without being detected. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: “Corporate Kasey”. I was dry, stoic, unsure, bored and lonely. I was the worst version of myself, and it was all a carefully orchestrated secret that I worked very hard to keep contained. Apparently, I was very good at keeping this little secret, because I received rave reviews from my superiors about my work performance and admirable morale. Morale! Sigh. I’m not proud of it, but I was that good at the lie. None of my coworkers knew how miserable I really was.

“Weekend Kasey”, on the other hand, was an absolute delight. I was witty, clever, whimsical, confident, talented and intelligent. I was the best version of myself on the weekends. I wore adorable clothes that made me look and feel incredible. I wore my hair loose and free, and I laughed loud and hard – right from my belly. My husband loved this girl! This is who he fell in love with, but she only showed up two days a week. For the other five days (otherwise known as most-of-the-time) we had to contend with “Corporate Kasey”. And If I wasn’t careful, she might start to slither in on Sunday evenings in painful, inadvertent anticipation to the start of the work week. This unhealthy dance of mine wasn’t working, but I continued to dance and dance and dance for years.