Authenticity, Emotional Health

The One Thing You Should Do When You Are Going Through a Tough Time

June 28, 2015

I thought I would start today’s post with a song. I want you to listen to the words of this Bill Withers song, it is absolutely the right medicine today. It is from me to you as the perfect reminder that you are not alone.

I’m here to say to you, my beautiful sisters (and brothers), that its okay not to have it all together, all the time!

Less than a month ago, I admitted to my own struggle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, and just last week, my sadness at losing my best friend. Life is full of unexpected waves.

This post is just designed to remind you that you are not alone! I just want to encourage you and say that you shouldn’t let pride or excuses like “that’s just the way I am” keep you from reaching for a helping hand. Maybe your excuse is, “I’m just a private person” or “I don’t have many people I trust”. It serves no one, especially you, to suffer in silence. Today I’m calling you on all of your stuff!

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Authenticity, Career, Courage, Emotional Health, Self-Love

The Corporate Mask: Finding the Strength to Be Authentic In Corporate America

May 24, 2015
corporate_mask

I’m really starting to wonder what my coworkers see when they look at me. For a long time, I tried to look and act the part at work. I relaxed my hair. I wore smooth, slick buns and blazers, and was a regular contributor to meaningless corporate small talk about the weather and other notions of nothingness. I was always masking absolute irritation. I scoffed incessantly in my own mind and mastered the art of rolling my eyes without being detected. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: “Corporate Kasey”. I was dry, stoic, unsure, bored and lonely. I was the worst version of myself, and it was all a carefully orchestrated secret that I worked very hard to keep contained. Apparently, I was very good at keeping this little secret, because I received rave reviews from my superiors about my work performance and admirable morale. Morale! Sigh. I’m not proud of it, but I was that good at the lie. None of my coworkers knew how miserable I really was.

“Weekend Kasey”, on the other hand, was an absolute delight. I was witty, clever, whimsical, confident, talented and intelligent. I was the best version of myself on the weekends. I wore adorable clothes that made me look and feel incredible. I wore my hair loose and free, and I laughed loud and hard – right from my belly. My husband loved this girl! This is who he fell in love with, but she only showed up two days a week. For the other five days (otherwise known as most-of-the-time) we had to contend with “Corporate Kasey”. And If I wasn’t careful, she might start to slither in on Sunday evenings in painful, inadvertent anticipation to the start of the work week. This unhealthy dance of mine wasn’t working, but I continued to dance and dance and dance for years.

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Career, Emotional Health, Friendship, Relationship Love, Self-Love

The Importance of Setting Healthy Personal Boundaries

April 12, 2015
boundaries

“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.”

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. They are ofter overlooked though. Before I get into today’s blog I want to give a definition of what I mean by a boundary.  To me a boundary is a clear and specific set of guidelines that govern what you will and will not tolerate. Wikipedia defines it as  “guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits. They are built out of a mix of beliefs, opinions, attitudes, past experiences and social learning“. We are pretty similar in how we view this concept.

So now that you know what I mean by a boundary, I want to discuss some of the consequences of not having clear boundaries. In business this can be financially detrimental. Let me give you an example. You are a talented artist and you love creating portraits. Your business is to create portaits for your clients. The income that you make from your business is how you take care of yourself and pay your bills. You have a friend who wants a portrait to give to her mother. She loves your work. You value your relationship with your friend, but she tries to influence you to waive your fee because you are friends. You want to help her and you have a heart of gold, but not a pocket of gold. You are not in the position to waive the fee, you need the income in your business. This is not the first time you have been asked by this particular friend to ignore one of your boundaries. What do you do? Continue Reading…