Emotional Health

Are You Worth It? Heck Yeah! 5 Steps to Developing An Abundant Mindset

January 31, 2015
youareamazing

Any business owner will tell you its very challenging to figure out what you are going to charge for your services. Setting pricing can be one of the hardest parts of your business. Determining, what your time, talent, and the information you provide, are worth, can be challenging. You don’t want to price it too high and scare away your customers, or charge too low and attract the wrong customers. What is the sweet spot?

While it may seem like pricing is just about business and figuring out the economics of what your industry is charging, or what your clients can afford, its also about getting clear about what you think you are worth. At its core, it’s really about YOU and whether or not you think you deserve it!

So why do I say this?

Well I have lots of experience in this area and I have seen it over and over again when I worked as a web developer in my business for 12 years. I watched clients set pricing for their services often. Even after they saw what the industry was charging, and even with lots of experience under their belt, there was a compunction to set their prices much lower than their services was worth. It was most prevalent with new business owners. I did it too so I can totally relate.

But why do we do this? That is what I wanted to discover and address. Here’s what I now know.

How you feel about yourself and how you think about wealth and abundance, deep down, will have an impact on how you price your services. And if you are a woman, chances are you are probably undervaluing what your services are worth to your potential clients. So what are some things you can do to shift this mindset so you can start getting what you are worth?

Learning to Have An Abundant Mindset

Abundance is defined in the dictionary as “a great supply; more than sufficient quantity”.

I love this definition. It doesn’t mention anything about money.

Going back to my experiences with clients, they would tell me “I don’t have enough money. I’m not happy in my career or I don’t even have enough money to take a vacation because all I do is work. I need to make some changes. ” In most cases though they were thinking small, they were afraid to really stretch themselves because of fear. What I have seen in the most successful people is that the more they expanded their mindset to be open to what God and the universe has in store for them, the more abundant the opportunities became. An abundance mindset will open doors for you and those around you, everyone will begin to prosper. Let me give you an example. Having a successful and mindful business not only blesses you but if you are a parent, it will also bless your children. As your life improves, so do theirs. So you see, you will be able to bless so many if you are open to receive it.

So, here are six steps in developing an abundant mindset:

1. Think of your dreams and goals as your purpose and contribution to the world. Write them down and keep them in front of you all the time. You have a divine right to share it with the world. Plus don’t you want to? The world will be so much better for you sharing your talents and gifts with us! There is always

2. Remind yourself daily that there is more than enough for everyone. We come from a God of abundance, he continually provides for all that we need daily. Even when people try to tell us that we are running out of ideas, resources, etc. there is always more provision that the Creator hasn’t even exposed to mankind yet. What you get, is meant for you and you are not taking anyone else’s portion. The more you give, the more abundance it creates for everyone else.

3. Believe in striving for excellence in all that you do. When you are at your best, everyone around you will have to rise up to meet you. You elevate others by being a great example.

4. Celebrate your successes. Don’t hide your success because you don’t know who you will best and inspire. Especially in this age of social media when so many are voyeurs and may not post, but there are there. They are watching what you do and follow your work. They are inspired by you and you lift them up with your success. You elevate everyone when great things happen.

5. Have a willing and open heart to new opportunities. Instead of looking for all of the reasons why something shouldn’t happen, look at all of the reasons why it should. When you start to live in abundance, things will start coming into your life that you never expected. Its because of you and how you are operating in the world. Get ready for unexpected blessings!

In closing I want to say that there are opportunities everywhere and these blessings will flow into your life when you are open to receive it. By practicing these six steps I know there will be a shift in your finances, professional, and personal life as you continue to remain open to receive the abundance that God has for you into your life. You truly deserve to life with purpose, passion, and joy! When you begin practicing having an abundant mindset I know your life will become all that you dreamed!

Until next time,

Franka

Still need some help setting your pricing? Read this great article from the people at Inc Magazine with helpful pricing models and factors you should take into consideration.

Relationship Love

In the Name of Love

January 25, 2015
valentinesday-blog

In about three weeks, it will seem like the whole world is coming up roses. Why? Because it will be Valentine’s Day!

I for one, love Valentine’s Day! I know, I’m odd. Why you may ask do I love this very commercial day? It’s because it celebrates romance and the notion of being “in love”, even if it is wrapped and packaged for commercial consumption. I’m not a cynic so I won’t spend this blog lamenting how it’s really a holiday designed by the greeting card industry, florists, and chocolatiers of the world to get us to spend money. I’m sorry, but who doesn’t love getting a card, flowers, and some chocolate. And let’s not forget the possible new lingerie from Victoria Secret from those guys who think they’re gonna get lucky.  Yes it’s all so cliche, but in a world filled with so much injustice, pain, and strife, I say let’s take a day, heck a month, to celebrate love and being in love.

ihateval

The hardest part of the upcoming Valentine’s Day is for the singles of the world, women like me, who are uncoupled. If traditionally, you have “I hate Valentine’s Day!” parties with your single girlfriends, I want you to think about changing your perspective this year. So this article is dedicated to you, my single ladies.

Its all about your perspective, my dear. I’ve mentioned it before that perspective is one of the cornerstones of authentic happiness. Just because you are single today doesn’t mean that you will be single forever. You have the choice to live with a sense of expectancy of a change in your status. This year is gonna be different!

 

So I wanted to propose a few ideas for your consideration (these may apply to married folks too):

1. Do you want to get married or stay single? Depending on how you answer the question, it will determine how you show up in the world. Try to be really honest about your answer here. Are you just jaded by the statistics about women and dating or have you just gotten comfortable with being single? You can do single all day, it’s easy but it takes work to be in a relationship. Where are you? Are you dating or avoid it completely? Are you open to meeting someone or find fault with the entire male gender? You have to be open to receiving love into your life. This one shift in your life may open you up to meeting the person that you have been waiting for. Once you are truthful about what you want, it will free you! Don’t let it become a defense mechanism for you. Just because you are single now doesn’t mean that it won’t change once you open the door to the possibility! Be open to love and optimistic about it happening in your life.

2. Is fear holding you back? Everyone who has ever been hurt becomes a little fearful about putting themselves out there again and stepping back out into the sea of dating and relationships. Do your work and get very clear about the hurt that you have endured. It may require that you truly forgive someone for the hurt they caused you. You may even need to forgive yourself. Your mistakes are in the past, throw it into the sea of forgetfulness. You deserve love and to be loved. Who you were yesterday, you are not that person today. Every mistake brings you closer to becoming the person that you want to be. Your greatest teachers are the people who hurt you. Thank them for the lesson and move on. Let go of that fear because life is too short. You can live in regret or live your life. I want you to be empowered to live your life. Be happy, now, today. No more fear!

3. Be clear on what type of mate you want and then become all of those things. You attract that which you are. If you say you want a Christian, kind, honest, fiscally smart, and compassionate mate, then you should be all of those things also. Walk the walk and live a life that shows these attributes on display in your own life. You have control of how you walk in the world and how you demonstrate your character. If you know you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin, then do something about it. Eat healthier and workout. It is not about the other person, its about you and feeling confident and great in your own skin. If you struggle with your finances, then do the work to get it in order. It is the #4 reason marriages fall apart. Any area of your life that you know you need to work on, spend some time doing the work to get your life in order.

authentichappinessquotes_104. Change the conversation you have with yourself. If all you say to yourself is all things negative, then it will seep into your outlook and how you feel about yourself. Don’t you believe in what God can do in your life? Where is your faith? Stop saying that you are too fat, not pretty enough, too this, or too that. You are great! No one person looks like anyone else, ore has gifted us with the same attributes and God intended it this way. There is something special about your personality that someone will love. I believe there is someone for everyone. Focus on the wonderful things you have to offer. It can be hard to be on a dating website, I know, because people will describe what they think is the perfect mate and if you don’t match all of the items, you may start to feel inadequate. Stop! Move on. That person is just not the right person for you. While some people have found success online, don’t let it be the only way you meet people. Live your life and show up in the world expecting to have great encounters. You may meet your mate at the gym, at the grocery store, or even at work. You never know where you will have an encounter that will change your life.

I want to encourage everyone, both my singles and married couples to be truly honest with themselves because it can truly impact your relationships. When you finally cross that threshold of marriage you can get too comfortable and stop working on the relationship. Romance is important to keeping the relationship alive. Continue to communicate with each other, let go of past hurts and forgive each other often and without looking back. Focus on the best in each other and not on what your mate lacks. Remember the time when you couldn’t get enough of each other? I know that time changes people, we evolve. Keeping the lines of communication open will make it easier for you to talk to your mate about your new hopes and dreams. If you can’t connect then maybe you need some perspective and seeking out the help of a professional can really help you. Don’t give up on each other until you have truly made an effort to reconnect. Take the 5 Languages of Love profile and learn to speak the language of your partner or learn your own personal language so you know how to connect to your future mate.

Finally, I want to encourage each of you to embrace this Valentine’s Day as yet another opportunity to demonstrate love. Love for yourself and for the special people in your life, whether you are single, married, or in a relationship. This year I am going to demonstrate love for myself by being healthy and happy. I am going to spend the day showing love to my single girlfriends and eating some high quality chocolates with my two favorite guys. Even though I am single this year, I expect that I won’t be in the future so I am going to be happy and enjoy exactly where God wants me to be right now!

Have an awesome day!

Franka

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emotional Health

Your Success Formula, Not Comparing Yourself to Others

January 17, 2015
success-stopcomparing

Shut everything out so you can hear the whispers in your own life!

I have body envy…sometimes.

Who doesn’t right?

But I know that some people are going to have fitter, toner, and more beautiful bodies than I ever will. Does this knowledge keep me from getting out of bed every morning?

Hell no!

I’m not a fitness model and my job does not depend on how I look. But does that mean that I don’t want to look my best and be able to be proud of my body in my mid-40s and beyond? No it doesn’t.

When I see women in their late 40′s or 50′s who are super fit and looking amazing I too feel like a sclub (not even sure this is a word). I start to ask myself, ‘What’s wrong with you? You gotta get moving and get in shape girl! Women who are your age, who’ve had kids, and have a busy life, are doing it. Get off your butt and get movin!’

But that’s my comparison story. What’s yours?

We all have a story.

There is something we tell ourselves when we see others doing, creating, actualizing at a level we would like to. While it can be a great motivator for many of us to see what is possible and a sort of inspiration, still for others it can be crippling to their spirit and de-motivating.

So let’s talk about some things you can do when you find yourself spiraling into a not so healthy place as a result of something you have just seen, heard, or experienced, that causes you to doubt your talent, creativity, or unique gifts. Take what you need from the strategies below to create your own success formula!

1. Shut everything out for a while and get still. I find that this is the single most effective way to find your way back to your own true north. We live in a world of noise. All forms of media, social media, the everyday grind, it can all be too much. There is a lot of stimuli competing for your time and attention. You have to take a moment each day to get away from it. You have your own hopes and dreams, things that you want to and need to listen to, focus on. God is speaking to you all the time. He is whispering to you when you are work on your project at home or work. There is a beauty and energy that comes from being able to get still enough to hear Him. Although I know that social media is not the evil, some people think it is. I too know that when I spend too much time consuming what others are doing, saying, actualizing, quoting, etc., it starts to affect me. I have to get off and remember who I am and not to try to fit into anyone else’s life.

2. Focus on your own creativity and unique gifts. That’s why I am so passionate about encouraging others to pursue their passions and articulating their own goals. When you have your own goals and dreams you want to actualize, you will develop a desire to see them come to fruition! You won’t spend too much time focusing on others when you gotta get your own stuff done. You will engage some and then get off and get back to your own life.  What is the vision you have for your life? If you are reading this blog then I know that it is big and bold!

You have the creativity, drive, and desire inside of you to make it happen! Sometimes the goal may appear overwhelming at first, but if you break it down into tiny goals you will see how manageable they become. There are gifts that you have that I will never have. I love that! What pressure it should take off of you to know that you can just focus on what you are good at and not worry about all the stuff that you aren’t. Join a meetup group or a Mastermind group and find an outlet for your own creativity. Do what you love!

3. Let go of perfectionism. This is part of the comparison story too right? We all want to be seen as the best in whatever we do. I don’t know about you, but I do. I want to be exceptional at whatever I do. I want to actualize at the highest level possible. Some days I reread my blog post and I think, ‘Girl you have nailed it!’  Then there are other days I am struggling to write one insightful sentence. Those are the hardest weeks. Why? Because I made a commitment to myself, and to all of you, that no matter what, I will write a post every Saturday! I take that commitment very seriously and no matter what I have planned, I gotta get it done. Sometimes in my checking and rechecking I find errors. After fixing seven, i’ll turn around and find three more. It makes me want to holler, to quote my man Marvin Gaye. I think about delaying my post to get more time to do a thorough spell check as the hours tick away. In the end, I send out the post anyway because breaking my word is a huge motivator. I would rather you read a typo than not fulfill the promise I made. I just let go and trust that the message is powerful enough that you will overlook the typo.

4. Get a power buddy. This can be a friend, family member, co-worker, partner or coach, but it must be someone who truly knows you and someone you trust to tell you the truth. This person will help you to see your worth and strength when you have doubts or need to be reminded. We never see ourselves the way we truly are. We don’t know the impact we have on others because we are just being ourselves. You have lived your entire life as YOU and let me just say, you is good! You have your own sense of style, wit, creativity, and talent. Your peeps “get you” and think you are awesome. Your power buddy will help you to remember this and they will remind you to… Do You!

5. Continue your gratitude practice. I love gratitude and I know I mention it often, but that’s because it truly works. It is hard for me to compare when I think about all of the abundance and blessings in my own life. My cup runneth over! It is also a constant reminder that my journey, is just that, mine. Be grateful for it and focus on what you have to be thankful for, not being mired in what others have. It also helps you to be able to be happy for others when you can stand in the abundance of your own life. I have a wonderful friend who is doing amazing things and I can truly say that she inspires and amazes me. I can be genuinely happy for her because I am grateful for this life and all that I have. We are the best of friends because we inspire each other to higher levels of actualizing all that we are. We push each other to be all that God wants us to be and do.

6. Master your craft. If there is something you want to do, learn all you can. Consume as much as you can so you can speak with confidence about it. To become a master of any craft, takes time. Sometimes you see people on Instagram or Facebook and they “look” so successful and have lots of followers and you wonder how they did it. They may have been an early adopter and capitalized on a hot idea and blew up or they may be like the true majority of success stories, they worked hard. You see the end result now, but what you may not see is the journey they have walked to get where they are. True and lasting success comes after much preparation. In my opinion, there are no shortcuts. Become a master of what you wish to do and put in the hard work necessary to get you to where you want to go.

7. Set realistic expectations. This one is jolting because its really about telling yourself the truth. Can I have JLO’s body? Probably not. I don’t have her life either. I work 40+ hours a week and am a soccer mom. She is mega superstar with nannies and a stylist. While I love JLO’s style. I am 5’8″ and she is 5′-something I am West Indian and she is Puerto Rican. We couldn’t be more different. My point is, what you sometimes chose to fixate on in your comparison is totally unrealistic. If we are looking at apples to apples, and we never are because no two people are the same, then that would be more understandable. Change the conversation in your mind and ask yourself if you have the full picture before you compare. You may be looking at them through a hazy lens. Blink and look away, I bet you, when you look back again you will see that what you saw the first time was an illusion. The real person worked hard just like you to get where they are. The surprising thing is that your journeys were more similar than you think.

I want to finish this post by saying that although I may have body envy…sometimes, there are days when you can’t tell me anything! When I just had a great workout and I’m feeling happy and powerful. When I love my body and everything that it has allowed me to do. When my gratitude muscle is so strong that nothing and no one can invade what has been poured into my spirit by God. This is when Franka is in tune with her highest and best self. I know we all have the power to tap into that place for ourselves.

This is your life! You have to live it the way that works best for you. Focus on all that has been given to you and use it to create and inspire others. You cannot see yourself the way I see you. You are awesome! Now go and create something because I am waiting for what only you can share with the world!

Until next time,

Franka

If you are interested in coaching and need some support to get to that next level in your business, head on over to frankabaly.com and learn about my programs and services for women business owners.

As always, I encourage you to leave a comment on the blog. I would absolutely love to hear from you!