Body Love, Career, Emotional Health, Financial Health, Relationship Love, Self-Love

Hello Spring, Goodbye Winter!

March 29, 2015

This post is all about creating a new vision for yourself this Spring. After the winter that we have had, its great to shed all of the extra layers and to be able to slip out of the heavy boots to loafers and comfortable sandals. To feel the sun on our faces and examine where we are and where we want to go.

focus-on-successThe last few weeks I have been focused on several areas of my life. First and foremost, I ask God to help guide me and give me the strength and discernment to do all that He desired for me. Then I  focused on everything else; my business, my health, finances, family relationships and furthering my education. I have been working out consistently, eating well, and pouring lots of energy into my business. I want massive changes and growth, so that’s been a priority for me. I’ve also been focused on setting new financial goals and making some big plans for how I want to finish off 2015. My children, family and my friends continue to fuel me, as well as my coaching certification classes. All this activity and focus has absolutely sidelined my lovelife and I haven’t gone on not even one date. I haven’t even given it a thought. Look at where all my energy is going? Although I know I need to be a full person, which includes love, right now I have to prioritize the areas of my life that deserve my focus and energy.  Dating and meeting new people is healthy and good for me, but just not right now. I can’t shift my energy yet to focus on inviting love when I have so much other things that demand my time.

So I want to encourage you to look at where your priorities are. Where are you putting your time and energy? What you focus on will grow, and it will show up in your life. What I do know is that your emotions and values do drive what you focus on and how you live your life. What are your emotions driving you to do lately?

What I realized is that my desire to be financially free and secure is driving all of my efforts right now. I have been a widowed mom for a while now and I love the idea of being able to determine my own trajectory in life. For me this means being a successful business owner and running a thriving business that affords me the opportunity to be available for my boys and to create a life that is awesome for the three of us. I’m also passionate about helping my clients actualize their vision. And I get totally jazzed when they gain insights to live their life full-out and in vivid color!

The Exercise

Using this easy self-assessment tool to help you, I want you to get a sense of where your focus has been. It doesn’t mean that things won’t change, but it’s going to help you get real with what you are focused on and prioritizing right now.

So let’s do this Spring version of the Wheel of Life ExerciseDownload the Wheel of Life Template.

Just to give you an example, a completed wheel of life may look something like the one below. Download the Wheel of Life Template for you to try it out.

worklifebalancewheel
It’s great to take stock of where you are and where you want to go.

  • Where are you spending your time and energy?
  • What would it take to get you to a 10?
  • What would you have to start doing, stop doing, or change?
  • Are there shifts you need to make?

Getting clear is an important first step in the process of creating the life you want. You can’t move in the right direction if you are unsure about where you need to go. After you finish the exercise write down some specific changes you are going to make to shift over the next three months. Make them actionable and attainable, no lofty goals.

I would love to know how this exercise helped you. Post a comment below in the blog.

As always, thanks for reading.

Franka

Courage, Emotional Health, Gratitude, Self-Love

What If You Are Not Really Living The Life You Were Meant To?

March 21, 2015
Photo courtesy of Tony Robbins

Unleash the Power Within is absolutely appropriately named. It is 4 days of unleashing that which lies within. Tony Robbins takes the stage on Thursday and we are held captive to his wisdom from transforming lives for almost four decades. He is a master storyteller and infuses lessons along with real-life examples of people he has learned from and helped over the years of being a personal transformation coach. He is vulnerable, authentic and genuine. You can feel how much he cares. He doesn’t just tell you what he thinks, he tells you what he KNOWS and has experienced from his work with countless clients. During our four days in New Jersey there were 7,000 people packed into the arena from 50 countries.

Tony uses very shocking language to trigger an emotional response from his audience and to produce a dynamic response. This weekend was about being authentic and brave and to really dig deep. Sometimes awful things that happen to you and it is f***ed up and not just bad. It was about getting real with yourself, no bullshit! This is not how I normally speak so it was shocking to me to hear this language coming out of me but I tell you, you can start using shocking language easily when you are going through this type of transformation. Don’t worry I am back to my normal self again. Lol!

images

Photo courtesy of Tony Robbins

So I sat down and expected to be taught lessons using my lovely workbook. What I got was so much more!

First of all, we sat for limited amounts of time, Tony warned us. We were jumping and dancing, high-fiving strangers, and supporting one another. We started off as strangers, but by the end of the four days we had become a large family. We have continued to support each other today via our awesome Facebook page. There is so much about the weekend that was transformational, but I want to share with you some kernels that transformed me.

1. Transformation happens in a moment…in an instant! (Snap your fingers). Some people think that it takes years to transform, when it usually happens instantly once something happens that gets you to say “No More”!!

  • No more will you settle for less than the life you deserve!
  • No more will you carry extra weight!
  • No more will you be in a relationship that does not nurture your needs!
  • No more will you be disrespected!

When you decide that you have hit the point where instead of saying you should do something you say YOU MUST!!

2. There is nothing wrong with you, you don’t need fixing. Tony doesn’t believe that anyone needs fixing. He believes that we only need to be jolted into becoming more of ourselves. Somewhere along the way as we start to change because of our experiences or because society or culture started to tell us that if we are not a certain way that we are broken and wrong. We stop dreaming! We stop having fun! We stop being who we truly are! We started to conform to what society tells us we must be and stop being who we want to be. When we were children we knew how to dream. We knew what it meant to have fun. We also knew how to tell the truth to others and to ourselves. Ever notice how little children don’t know how to lie? As we age we learn so many bad behaviors. Behaviors that take us away from the core of who we are. This weekend I tapped into that child that knew how to dream. The one who drew on the wall and loved to laugh out loud. I dared to be brave and bold about what I saw for my life.  What I now have the talent and experience to create.

What are you ready to do? What have you been dreaming about?

3. If you change your state, you will change the entire energy of your day and eventually the trajectory of your life! We learned about The Triad. The three things that affect all emotion. Physiology, Focus and Language/Meaning. It’s all about the way you use your body, what your decide to focus on and the language you use. All three combined can alter how you feel about everything. We did an exercise to try it out and I encourage you to do the same.

  • Sit down and hunch your shoulders and say “I’m am a warrior”! [Notice your energy and the tone, volume of your words and how it made you feel.]
  • Stand up, hold your shoulders back and your head up and say it again, “I am a warrior”! [Notice your energy and the tone, volume of your words, and how you felt.]

Notice the difference between the two?

When you stand in the certainty with your posture in support and with words of strength, you absolutely believe that you are a warrior! You must do this EVERYDAY and with EVERYTHING in your life!

firwalker-partnersWatch how you go through life. Are you hunched over when you confront  life or do you play full out with energy and focus? Be mindful of your language and the words that you use which can diminish your energy. Use words that affirm you and create the feeling of certainty in your body and for the things that you want to accomplish in your life. This is what I did to become a firewalker! I had so much certainty that I could do it and I put my body and mind in such a state that when it came time to walk, I had no fear or doubt that I could do it! I was transported to become what I envisioned.

If I can walk on hot coals, what else can I do?? What can you do if you are in the right state each and every day?

That’s why Tony makes us do it, to help us see that we can put ourselves in a state of certainty to do anything we envision for our lives.

4. People become tied to disempowering stories and limiting beliefs. We have all had experiences in our lives that have molded and shaped us. You probably have no idea how much you have hitched your life to your story. What controls your life is the meaning you associate to what happened to you in your life. It is shaped by your own psychology, in addition to your beliefs and values. Once you have assigned meaning to something, it creates a pattern of emotions that affects the way you cope. You may become tied to certain behaviors because they help you cope. But in coping you are living a life that is less than what you deserve. A life less than what you should be! During my four days at UPW I dug deep and I found my stories. In most cases, lies that I started to tell myself about who I am. I changed my story and now I say the truth. The truth is that I am….

What is your truth? You must find it so you can be free of a limiting belief and your disempowering story.

There is so much more but I will stop here for today. Over the next few weeks I will go further to help you experience your own transformation. For me it has been transformational because I was open to the process. I was ready for real and lasting change. You may not be ready to go there yet. Here are just a few of my wins!

  • diamondhead1Since UPW I wake up in a great state every day! One of gratitude and joy. I am certain that my day will be AMAZING and so far it has been!
  • I have kicked my new business into high gear. I’ve been back a week and I have three new paying clients and I am getting so much done for my business. I secured a new strategic partner that is going to take my business to a whole new level.
  • I am transforming my body by doing T25 so I can have the energy to create all that I dreamed. Where I quit before, I have a renewed desire to succeed and I know I will. It is a MUST!
  • I hiked up Diamond Head with my boys a few days after UPW. Quitting never entered my mind, even though I wasn’t feeling well.
  • I am so much more fearless now. I squashed my limiting beliefs.
  • It has even seeped into how I parent my boys. I’m showing them how to live with passion and boldness. We have gotten in state before we climbed Diamond Head and I catch myself calling them out on their limiting beliefs. I encourage them to reach for their dreams and to follow-through. I won’t let them make excuses.

Dearest I want you to experience all that God has in store for you. Being fulfilled is the best feeling in the world. Try out the homework. Be a kid again and don’t worry about how you’ll look.

  • What do you have to lose? Only your old life!
  • What will you gain? A whole new way of looking at your life and the courage to move in the direction of your dreams!

Homework:

  1. Write down one thing you MUST change about your life right now?___________________________
  2. What are you willing to say “No More” to?____________________________________________
  3. What limiting belief do you have about yourself? What you believe about yourself. For example: I am not smart. I am fat. etc. Put yours here: _______________________________________

Instructions: Now get in a state of certainty by standing up with your feet on the ground, your head back and your chest out so you can breath freely. Say out loud with your fist held up and with power in your voice:

  • I MUST change… (answer from above)
  • I say No More to… (answer from above)
  • The truth is that I am …(the opposite of what you wrote above)

How did that feel?? I would love to hear from you in the comments below. I am so excited to encourage you to go in the direction of your dreams.

Special Thank You: I want to say a special thank you to my friend Julia Burns for inviting me to share this experience with her and for being an amazing hostess! She was so generous and kind. We had an amazing time and it was exactly what we needed. I know I have a friend for life. Julia is an amazing lingerie and sportswear designer and will be launching her own collection soon. It’s possible that if you are a woman reading this blog, you may already be wearing a bra that Julia designed. Stay tuned for her launch!

Stay tuned for how I will be paying it forward next year to one amazing person.

Until next week!

Franka

Courage, Emotional Health, Relationship Love

My Hawaiian Vacation! – Day 1

March 11, 2015

Aloha from Hawaii!

Today was a great day! Despite the fact that I brought a terrible cold with me from New Jersey. I am coughing and blowing my nose, but I don’t care, I am determined to get out and enjoy the beautiful 76 degree weather!!

Day 1 – Diamond Head

Our day started off with some power exercises with my boys. We changed my state by exercising and jumping up and down so I could get my energy up. Then we went down for breakfast. It was simply, AMAZING! We ate next to a beautiful aquarium tank and watched as a sting ray whizzed by as we were chowing down on some of the best fresh fruit and assorted foods I ever saw. I can’t really describe it so I’ll post pics tomorrow because I simply forgot to take them today.

Then we set out to do our fun event of the day, to hike to the top of Diamond Head. We caught the local bus (#2) from the back of our hotel to the base of the mountain and we proceeded to walk up the hill.  We were so excited by the view that we thought it would be a piece of cake. Little did we know.

View as we walked up the first hill

View as we walked up the first hill

We saw lots of people taking pictures at the top of the hill, but beyond them we saw a tunnel that people were walking through so we followed suit to see what was on the other side. The other side is where the real fun began!

Walking through the tunnel

Walking through the tunnel

When we got to the other side of the tunnel we saw the real hike. There was a guard post and we had to pay $1 to enter on foot. By now I was feeling the pain of hiking with a cold as my chest was tight, and I quickly ran out of air and energy, but I was determined to do this with my boys. I mustered up the energy from somewhere to push on. I slowly said the incantations of my weekend at Unleash the Power Within (UPW) and said “Yes!” as I kept on climbing.

The hike upward

 

The guard showed us the hiking trail and his parting words, “You can do it, just go slow”. This stayed with me as I began my hike.

From the bottom it didn’t look as tough as it turned out to be.

We set off with one pouch of water and some veggie juice. This would prove to be a HUGE mistake!! I don’t know what I was thinking!!! They said it was a 60-90 minute hike both ways.

I said a prayer, and off we went!

The wonderful thing about this hike is that because it is so challenging people on the way down encourage those on the way up. We heard, “It’s worth it”, “Keep going”, “Don’t quit”; as we climbed towards the top. I was struggling as I climbed higher and I felt like I had gout in my left big toe, it hurt so bad. I was also so thirsty as we had already ran out of water. Veggie juice did not sound like a good idea to me.

IMG_0340

At one point I thought I was almost there and someone yelled out, “You’re halfway there!”! I looked up and sure enough there was still a long way to go.  I yelled back, “I wished you hadn’t told me that”! The boys groaned. In addition to the awesome climb what I loved is all of the people I saw, from all over the world. Old and young. One guy was even running up, (Show Off – lol!).

After getting up the rocky and winding path I could see that the boys were eager to get to the top. I was slowing them down as I slowly climbed. The boys wanted to wait for me but I encouraged them to keep going and told them I would catch up. I assured them that I wouldn’t quit!

I was getting close to the top but that’s when I was confronted with what would prove to be one of the last hurdles to the top, the STAIR CLIMB! Isn’t that how life is? You think you are going to have smooth sailing and then WHAM, an obstacle get’s thrown in  your path!

diamondhead3

 

I won’t lie, it was daunting! I stood at the bottom looking up but I NEVER thought about giving up. I am a Firewalker, I got this! (More on this later). I had two choices, an easier route on the left or THESE stairs, which was shorter path to the top, but tougher. I chose the tougher, shorter route.

After I climbed these stairs I had another set of circular stairs that wound to the top before putting me at the opening to the top of the hike.

I HAD MADE IT!!!

I couldn’t even celebrate because I was so exhausted! But then I saw the view and I thought, it’s been worth it!!

I looked for my boys and realized that they were not there. They went back to look for me. After a few minutes I saw them running towards me. “We were worried Mom”.  I looked at them and then I told them “Remember I told you I wouldn’t quit”.

We hugged and I took in the view from all sides.

 

diamondhead13 diamondhead14 diamondhead15 diamondhead16 diamondhead17 diamondhead18 diamondhead20 IMG_0315

I was so happy that I didn’t quit.  It truly was never an option. As I stood at the top, I was so glad that I had this experience with my boys. That even though I had a hurt toe and a cold, I didn’t let it stop me from finishing!! I wonder if this is how marathoners and summit climbers feel when they reach their goal. No wonder it is addictive!

diamondhead2

We saw a truck selling shaved ice on the way up and we agreed that we would have some when we made it back down. As we stood in line for our shaved ice, my son Jared said that it was great that we saved it until the end. It was a great reward at the end of our adventure. I totally agree!

diamondhead4

Today we are going to the Pearl Harbor Memorial and to a Lua. I am sure it will be another awesome adventure!

Mahalo!

Franka